Tuesday, March 22, 2011

April Showers

I had a revelation while chopping vegetables a few days ago. 
Vegetables, fruits, meats, cheeses, and herbs are transforming.  Individually each one holds its own flavor, taste and consistency.  However, when heated or chilled, each one can morph into another flavor and texture.  Bitter.  Salty.  Smooth.  Lemony.  Tough.  Sweet.  Spicy.  Tender.  Pungent.  Mushy.  Crisp.  In addition to its own flavor, when mixed with other products and heated the flavor yet again undergoes a transformation. 
I have come to the conclusion that my life for the past five years has been chopped, marinated, sauteed, boiled, braised and maybe even mashed, among other things. 
Five years ago in March severe headaches sent me to the doctor.  After CT scans, MRIs, and multiple visits to a neurosurgeon, Randy and I selected April 13th to be the day that would change our lives.  On April 13th I had brain surgery.  Sixteen days later I was released from the hospital and got to return home on Randy's 24th birthday.
Unfortunately the surgeon was unable to remove the cyst entirely from my brain and since 2006 I go and get an MRI every six months.  I know what to expect from the MRI.  Thirty-five minutes of loud noises, cold temperatures and a small dose of claustrophobia. My heart races while we drive to the facility and wait for my name to be called.  Sometimes I cry.  What never fails is the sense of peace I have while I walk to the back of the facility and hop onto the board that sends me into the all-seeing machine.  People have asked me what I think about while being scanned.  It's a very simple answer.
Jesus Christ.
I pray.  I praise Him to the rhythm of the machine.  I thank Him for this unique experience.  I ask for healing.  
When I look at the path I am on and ponder what it all means I always have different answers.  I have used this experience in multiple ways and I hope it has been for the betterment of  others.  Yes it's been hard and scary at times. What trial isn't?  Praise God, I am better and different because of it. 
I love to cook.  This is no secret.  So it's not surprising that when I'm in the kitchen heating up oil to braise chicken or chopping up vegetables to throw into mashed avocados I examine life.  The way I see it, we all are being prepped for something larger than ourselves.  For some, no heating is required and you are put on a platter raw.  You are absolutely perfect and delicious.  Others get seared on all sides and then thrown into the oven to be slow roasted for three hours.  A slow process but what flavor and tenderness!
What I've learned is I can't compare my path to others.  I can't worry about the future and fret about the past.  "What if" scenarios are just painful.  I take each day as it comes and rest in the knowledge that God is constantly transforming my soul through unique experiences.  With every MRI and with every doctors appointment He creates in me something new.  This is something to get excited about.

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.  Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:14-21


  1. Beautiful! You are an overcomer my friend!

  2. Sweet Rebecca you have grown into a remarkable and strong young woman. I am so very proud of you. Your God is my God. Your vision is also my vision. I am grateful to share space in this world with you. Continue to write and share your heart and soul.

  3. love this too!! thanks for sharing your thoughts! miss you friend!